拒馬˙磨坊賺美金˙威呀心杯杯

十月底的時候，老闆出差芝加哥，意外中風。

說起來，現在的生活其實無可挑剔。獨居的單人公寓寬敞到說話有回音、初入社會的第一份工作，老闆人好，待遇不薄，上下班時間規律，加班從來加不過七點半。雖然身處荒郊野外，推開窗戶放眼望去就只有藍天白雲杉木馬路，但月租不到兩百美金的四輪傳動，讓我名符其實地我行我素：心血來潮想看的二輪片和舞台劇、臨時起意的飯局和踏青行程，或者是一股想上健身房揮汗減肥的熱血衝勁，我總是隨心所欲，來去自如。沒有門禁更不用向誰請示告假。這樣的日子，就只能用「自由」兩個字形容，夫復何求？

為什麼每次沒有帶相機的時候，總是會錯過值得紀錄的片段呢?

『Outstanding』的中文翻譯，可謂意譯地恰到好處—『突出』。不過如果要更具象、更字面的解釋，其實『向外站』可能更貼切吧。

The Taiwanese education system is setting students up for failure professionally. From K to 12 and on to college, we’re taught that good students are to be seen but not heard. We are not to turn left if told to go straight. We are never to raise objections because the teachers are forever the beacon of light that leads always to the truth. We are not to deviate, only to imitate and replicate. We are programmed to be docile sheep. Conformity always comes first, never try to buck the system and God forbid that you should ever stand out.

My logistics guy emailed me the other day. Had a question that he wanted me to answer, or rather find out the answer for him. The email could’ve been written in Martian and it wouldn’t have made a difference. I didn’t understand what he was asking of me, let alone figuring out who I needed to track down to get answers from. Just so happens, every single nearby cube was empty. I had no lifeline. Not one. I had maybe 2 seconds of hesitation before I picked up the phone and just called the guy up. I dished out my “New” card right then and there and confessed that I had no idea where to even begin to help him out and if he could help me to help him. Needless to say, he was more than understanding. We quickly found out that I was not the best person to provide the answers he needed. He was able to redirect his question elsewhere and had it resolved in due time.

In The Prestige, Michael Caine told Christian Bale’s character, Borden, that he was every bit the better magician than Angier, played by Hugh Jackman; but what Angier lacked in skills and creativity, he made up for in showmanship. He was the better performer than Borden ever was. And that made him the better entertainer.

When it comes to jigsaw puzzles, some of the more experienced players like to start with the corners to help set the perimeter. They strategically work their way inwards, carefully laying out the boundaries first before they attempt to reassemble the missing pieces in the middle. It makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Except what do you do when you can’t seem to find those guiding pieces, when you have no idea just where your borders lie?

My life is in flux. And I mean zero-gravity-things-floating-midair-completely-out-of-control kind of flux. For a Virgo Type A, we are by nature repulsed by anything that is unpredictable, uncontrollable and unfathomable. And yet, that is exactly what my life has transpired to.