拒馬˙磨坊賺美金˙威呀心杯杯

My life is in flux. And I mean zero-gravity-things-floating-midair-completely-out-of-control kind of flux. For a Virgo Type A, we are by nature repulsed by anything that is unpredictable, uncontrollable and unfathomable. And yet, that is exactly what my life has transpired to.

Arguably, one of the perks of being in flux is that people cut you some slack. They lavish more patience on you, they make more efforts to empathize, if not sympathize. And in general, they upgrade their tolerance threshold for mistakes and ignorance and possibly emotional breakdowns just by a notch, just for you.

But then the tricky part in all this really is figuring out just how long you can legitimately claim that your life is still in flux before you start feeling sheepish and people’s understanding start to dwindle. Four weeks? Six months? A year? I don’t think there’s a right answer and yet there are expectations, and balancing the two can be exhausting at times.

I passed my road test yesterday, which in addition to my recent apartment approval, officially removes all roadblocks for me to finally take flight and fly solo. Some would interpret these milestones as giant strides that propel me that much closer to settling down, to stability. To my new normal. But technically, the act of transitioning from a state of flux into the constant in itself dictates excruciating adaptations. What many people don’t know is that the pangs in recalibrating anything derailed aren’t static episodes that can be isolated to the process alone; they only begin to exacerbate when the dust has settled. When people begin to retract their tolerance, when expectations begin to escalate, when you exhaust your free passes, when your novelty wears off. And when reality finally hits.

I will receive my Minnesota driver’s license in a few weeks and move into my suburban apartment in a few days. I will be settling down and no longer be living out of a suitcase. I will establish my new normal as I brace myself for the full blow of reality. It will hurt and it will pass. But it will only be the first of many more to come.